For many Christian men, marriage has been reduced to routine, duty, and obligation—especially in the bedroom. Somewhere along the way, the fire that once burned between husband and wife fizzled out, replaced by monotony, stress, and distractions.
But let’s be clear: God designed marriage to be passionate. He created sex as a gift—a powerful, intimate act that strengthens the bond between a husband and wife. If your marriage bed has turned cold, it’s not because passion is impossible—it’s because it has been neglected.
Too many men forget that God gave them their wives to be enjoyed. Not just as partners in responsibility but as lovers, soulmates, and the only woman they will ever fully belong to.
If you want to put passion back into your marriage, it’s time to stop treating intimacy as an obligation and start seeing it for what it was meant to be: a deep, exhilarating connection that brings pleasure, unity, and strength to your marriage.
Here’s how to do that.
1. Understand That God Designed Sex to Be Enjoyed
Many Christian couples fall into the false mindset that sex is just about procreation or that it is simply a marital duty.
But the Bible is filled with proof that God intended sex to be enjoyed.
- Proverbs 5:18-19 – “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
- Song of Solomon – A whole book of passionate, poetic, and deeply intimate expressions of love and desire.
Sex is not just for making babies. It is for pleasure, bonding, and strengthening your marriage.
God intended for you to enjoy your wife, for her to enjoy you, and for your bedroom to be a place of intimacy, excitement, and connection—not boredom.
2. Break the Cycle of Routine and Complacency
Most long-time married couples fall into a predictable pattern.
- Same positions.
- Same times of the week.
- Same approach, over and over again.
This is where many Christian marriages lose passion—not because the love is gone, but because they have settled into autopilot.
If you want real intimacy, you have to be intentional about keeping things fresh.
✔ Date Your Wife Again. Pursue her like you did when you were trying to win her heart.
✔ Surprise Her. A handwritten note, an unexpected touch, a whisper in her ear—it all matters.
✔ Change the Setting. Don’t confine intimacy to the same old patterns. Make time for spontaneous moments.
✔ Slow Things Down. Passion isn’t just about frequency—it’s about depth, presence, and desire.
Passion isn’t found—it’s created. If you want your marriage to be exciting, you have to put in the effort.
3. Communicate Openly About Desire and Intimacy
Many Christian men struggle to talk openly about sex with their wives.
Maybe you assume she knows what you want. Maybe you fear rejection. Maybe you’ve bought into the idea that talking about sex is somehow unspiritual.
But God designed sex as a key part of marriage—why wouldn’t you discuss it?
✔ Ask her what she desires.
✔ Express what you love about her.
✔ Have an honest conversation about how to make intimacy better.
Far too many men just accept a passive sex life, never communicating, never growing, never leading in this area.
A real leader in marriage is not afraid to initiate, communicate, and make intimacy a priority.
4. Become the Kind of Man She Desires
Let’s be honest—attraction isn’t just physical.
Women don’t just respond to muscles or looks (though taking care of your body helps). They respond to strength, confidence, leadership, and presence.
If your marriage is lacking passion, ask yourself:
- Have I become complacent?
- Do I still pursue my wife with desire and intention?
- Am I leading, or am I just going through the motions?
Women are drawn to men who are strong, decisive, and confident—not passive, weak, or constantly seeking approval.
✔ Lead with confidence. Be decisive, be strong, and make her feel safe and cherished.
✔ Take care of yourself. Train, eat well, and stay fit—not just for looks, but for energy and vitality.
✔ Keep your mind sharp. Be a man of wisdom, action, and conviction.
If you want your wife to desire you, start by becoming a man she can’t help but admire.
5. Stop Making Excuses—Prioritize Intimacy
Too many men fall into the trap of:
🚫 “We’re too busy.”
🚫 “We have kids.”
🚫 “I’m too tired.”
🚫 “She’s not in the mood.”
Excuses kill passion.
If you don’t make intimacy a priority, it won’t magically fix itself.
✔ Schedule time for each other. Passion doesn’t happen by accident—it happens by design.
✔ Create the right atmosphere. Your bedroom should be a place of connection, not just a sleep zone.
✔ Remove distractions. Turn off the TV, put down the phone, and make time for each other.
Your wife is not just your partner—she is your lover. Treat her like one.
6. Lead Spiritually and Emotionally
Sex in marriage isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional and spiritual.
A wife desires her husband most when she feels safe, loved, and cherished. That starts outside the bedroom.
✔ Pray together. A couple that prays together builds a deeper bond.
✔ Speak life into her. Encourage, uplift, and make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
✔ Be present. A woman wants a husband who is fully engaged, not just physically there.
A strong marriage is built on spiritual leadership, emotional connection, and physical intimacy. Neglecting one weakens all three.
7. Stop Settling for a Mediocre Marriage
Too many men just accept a passionless marriage as normal.
They assume that because they’ve been married for years, they no longer get to experience:
🔥 Intense attraction
🔥 Spontaneous moments of passion
🔥 A wife who desires them as much as they desire her
That’s nonsense.
✔ You can have a passionate, exciting, intimate marriage.
✔ You can make your wife crave your touch.
✔ You can reignite the spark—if you’re willing to lead.
Stop accepting less than what marriage was designed to be.
Your wife is the only woman in the world that belongs fully to you.
Cherish her. Pursue her. Enjoy her.
And above all—never stop making her feel like the only woman that matters.
Build a Marriage That Reflects God’s Design
Sex in a Christian marriage isn’t dirty, awkward, or routine—it’s a gift. A powerful, God-ordained connection that brings strength, joy, and passion into your marriage.
If your bedroom has gone cold, don’t blame time, stress, or routine. Blame neglect.
✔ Reignite the fire.
✔ Lead with confidence.
✔ Make intimacy a priority.
Marriage isn’t meant to be endured—it’s meant to be enjoyed.
God created your wife for you. Love her like you mean it.