It’s a common refrain in modern masculinity circles—“Marriage is a scam,” “All women will leave you,” “Never sign a contract with the government.” And in some cases, they’re not entirely wrong. Marrying the wrong woman? That’s a recipe for misery. Walking into marriage without the right mindset, without leadership, without understanding your role as a man? That’s asking for disaster.
But let me tell you something those “alpha bros” and Red Pillers won’t—with the right woman and the right mindset, marriage doesn’t just work. It thrives.
I’ve been married to the same woman for 36 years, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not because of luck. Not because I happened to find the mythical unicorn. But because we built something strong—by design.
So, if you’re one of the men out there who still believes marriage is a path to slavery, financial ruin, or guaranteed failure, let me challenge that belief. Because marriage isn’t the problem—weak men and weak relationships are.
Why Most Marriages Fail (And Why Mine Hasn’t)
I’m not blind to the statistics. Divorce rates are high. Relationships fall apart. Modern culture does little to support strong, lasting unions.
But here’s the truth—marriage doesn’t fail. People do.
Here’s why most marriages crumble:
- Men enter marriage without understanding their role as leaders. They give up their masculine edge, stop leading, and wonder why the attraction fades.
- Women enter marriage expecting a fantasy, not a partnership. They assume their husband will just “make them happy,” without realizing that happiness is a personal responsibility.
- Both partners stop putting in effort. Love isn’t a one-time choice—it’s something you actively build, maintain, and protect.
If you don’t choose wisely, lead effectively, and put in the work, marriage will suck. And that’s on you.
Marriage With the Right Woman Enhances Your Life—Not Destroys It
The right marriage doesn’t weaken a man—it strengthens him. But that requires choosing a woman who aligns with your mission, your values, and your long-term goals.
The men who complain that marriage sucks usually made one of two mistakes:
- They chose a woman based on surface-level attraction—without vetting her mindset, values, and long-term compatibility.
- They became complacent, stopped leading, and allowed the polarity in their relationship to die.
When you choose well and continue leading, your wife doesn’t become a burden—she becomes an asset. She brings peace, support, stability, and a level of emotional depth that no casual relationship can match.
What Choosing the Right Woman Looks Like
A high-value woman isn’t just someone who looks good on your arm. She’s someone who:
- Understands and supports your mission. She doesn’t try to compete with your purpose—she aligns with it.
- Brings peace, not drama. Life is hard enough. The right woman is a source of calm, not chaos.
- Values commitment and loyalty. She sees marriage as a lifelong journey, not a temporary arrangement.
- Is feminine, nurturing, and adds to your life. She takes care of herself, the home, and the family—not out of obligation, but because she takes pride in her role.
If you’re married to a woman who fights you at every turn, drains your energy, or doesn’t respect you, marriage will be hell. That’s why choosing the right woman isn’t just important—it’s everything.
The Man’s Role: Leadership, Strength, and Presence
Now, let’s flip the script. Because it’s not just about choosing the right woman—it’s about being the right man.
A weak man will turn any relationship into a nightmare. A strong man? He creates a marriage that’s unbreakable.
Here’s what the right man does in marriage:
- He leads with clarity and strength. His wife never doubts where they’re headed because he provides direction.
- He remains physically, mentally, and emotionally strong. Weakness—whether in the body, mind, or emotions—kills attraction.
- He maintains the polarity. He stays dominant, decisive, and unwavering. He doesn’t slip into passivity or let the relationship turn into a roommate dynamic.
- He never stops improving. Growth is non-negotiable. A great marriage isn’t something you set on autopilot—it requires continual refinement.
A man who loses himself in marriage—who gets soft, who stops leading, who bends to his wife’s every whim—is a man who will eventually be resented, disrespected, or left.
Marriage works when the man remains strong.
The Benefits of a Strong Marriage
Most of these Red Pillers and so-called alpha bros focus only on what marriage takes from you. But let’s talk about what it gives—when done right.
1. Stability and Legacy
A man’s legacy isn’t built through casual relationships. It’s built through commitment, structure, and the family he leads. A strong marriage creates an empire, not just a temporary arrangement.
2. A Feminine Counterbalance
Masculinity is best complemented by femininity. The right woman enhances a man’s strength, sharpens his focus, and provides the kind of deep emotional support that no fling can match.
3. A True Partner in Life
A high-value wife isn’t just a lover—she’s an asset. She runs the home with efficiency. She raises strong children. She makes life smoother so that her man can focus on conquering the outside world.
4. Lifelong Desire and Connection
Long-term relationships don’t have to be boring. Attraction can last for decades if polarity is maintained. A woman will continue craving her man if he stays strong, disciplined, and continues to lead.
5. A Source of Peace in a Chaotic World
The world is a battleground. A man who is constantly fighting at home has no energy left for the wars outside. The right marriage is a source of strength, not a drain.
Why Most Men Will Never Have This
Here’s the hard truth—most men will never experience a thriving marriage because they fail in one of two areas:
- They choose the wrong woman. They settle, they rush, they ignore red flags, and they pay the price.
- They become weak. They lose their edge, stop leading, and allow themselves to be overrun.
Marriage isn’t the problem.
The problem is poor choices, weak leadership, and men who have forgotten how to be men.
Marriage Works—If You Do
If you’re still skeptical, I get it. You’ve seen the horror stories, the divorces, the betrayals, the nightmare relationships. You’ve watched men get wrecked financially, emotionally, and psychologically.
But that’s not because marriage itself is a failure.
That’s because modern men have lost the ability to lead.
That’s because modern women have been conditioned to despise traditional roles.
That’s because most relationships today are built on weak foundations.
But when a strong man leads a high-value woman? The result isn’t misery. It’s power. It’s stability. It’s something far greater than any casual encounter could ever offer.
I’ve lived it. 36 years. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
So before you write off marriage, ask yourself:
- Are you choosing wisely?
- Are you leading effectively?
- Are you maintaining your strength, your mission, and your presence?
Because if you get those things right, marriage doesn’t suck.
It becomes the greatest force multiplier of your life.